Chosen One: An Adoptee's Story

Kathy with her parents
and older brother Glenn
at her three-week-old placement

Today, I’m interviewing my mother-in-love (don’t you just love that?!) Kathy, who was adopted by her parents as an infant. I wanted to share her story because from the very beginning of meeting
Kathy she has exuded love and exuberance for adoption. There was no one who was more excited (or could relate better!) to the adoption of our first daughter, Jasmine. And when I asked her if she’d be willing to share her story, she did not hesitate to say yes. Here is her story (in her own words):

Kathy's brother Glenn in 1975,
serving in the Air Force

I was adopted at 3 weeks old. My parents couldn't have children so they adopted a son and me. My brother was 3 years older. Back then they were on probation for one year. My legal adoption was Sept. 20, 1955. I had a great family, with very loving parents. I always knew from little on that I was a chosen child; that's what my parents would always call me. I learned the word adoption probably when I was old enough to know what it means, about five or six. 

Kathy (at 13 years old) on a trip with her dad

 At 13 I asked to see my birth certificate. I just wanted to see if there was any information there that would put some of the puzzle pieces together. I was satisfied after that. I always felt good about myself because I felt loved and special. The word chosen was used a lot.

I don't think living in that kind of home was any different than most people's homes, at least I didn't feel different. I remember in 5th or 6th grade a boy would tease me about being adopted and when I told my mom about how sad it made me feel she said, "You tell that boy that you were chosen and that his parents didn't have that choice with him." He didn't tease me after that.

Grandma Kathy and Jasmine: The Chosen Ones

As an adult I searched out my biological parents, even though mine was a closed adoption. I found my biological parents because I wanted information for medical reasons. I was also just curious. Now that I have found them it is nice to know I can call them and talk to them if I want. My parents never hid anything while I was growing up, and my dad helped me as I looked for my mom (even though I knew this was hard in many ways for him). As my dad was dying he told me, "Tell her (your biological mom) thank you for giving you to us." As a child, and even an adult, I never wished I could have stayed with my biological parents. I had great parents.

My advice to someone considering adoption would be that they take it serious and realize it would also be a blessing to them as well as the child. And to love them unconditionally as they would their own blood.

We are so thankful for Kathy's story! We understand that the conversation around adoption is as wide and varied as the people involved, and that no two stories are alike. Join us again next week as we hear from Kendra's 13-year-old son on his feelings about adoption.

If you are looking for more resources regarding adoption, one of my absolute favorite books is Orphan Justice: How to Care for Orphans Beyond Adopting by Jonny Carr. I also have been challenged and informed by reading about adoption ethics by people like Jen Hatmaker and Kristen from Rage Against the Minivan.

And be sure to check out our first post for National Adoption Month from last week titled 5 Ways to Support Orphans.

We are once again linking up for Make a Difference Monday!


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